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When it comes to highly intellectual conversation, motivational speeches, proper reactions to life’s various, humorous situations, and of course the right answers to every single question in the universe… I assure you, I am not the right person to ask. I am however a good person over all and I know enough about everything to sound smart for roughly nine seconds. Fortunately for me I do have the uncanny ability to change topics very often and nonchalantly as to maintain the persona of being intellectual. I am married, I am happy, and I am with every passing day falling deeper and deeper in love with my wife. She is my best friend, my soul mate, and most definitely the better half of the Da-sie chain. I am vegan. No, I do not need to take supplements. No, I do not need to eat fish for my source of omega 3. No, I don’t live off of soy beans. I am a proud Catholic. I’ve heard the jokes, and yes a lot of them are funny, but the foundation of my faith is unshakable. I hate it when bands from Random City/State try to add me because they think I might like their music. I don’t like your music. I am not going to add you. Same goes for people with five billion friends- who are you kidding? Get a life. I want to hear from people in my past. It was one of the primary reasons I started this account way back in the day. Lastly, my name is Jimmy. I am a low level office jockey just above bagel boy, but still so far below that greasy layer of corporate slime and God forbidding muck that can only be found on the shoes of the everyday ladder-climbing, rat-racing, suit. Maniacal, sarcastic, genius, amazing, sleazebag, “hey you”… these are but a few things people have called me in my life here on this planet earth. I stand behind each and every one of them with the beaming pride of a parent looking down on their child who just drew their first masterpiece using a myriad of permanent markers all over the living room wall. Vulnerant omnes, ultima necat. Tempus Fugit, Memento Mori
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